The Amish Walmart with a Side of Stolen Livestock

Dear Uncle George,

May 21, 1907

Cold this morning.  I rose about 5:30 a.m.  Foot bath.  Charles Ferat moved to Jameson.  Fattening stock and hogs there.  Has about 192 or 200.  

Pork is a sweet meat

Dr. John Cravens had a store there in 1838 (Cravens purchased most of the land in the central area and renamed it Cravensville).  Also, Benjamin Kimbal Clendersen was the last man to run store in Diahman.  North and South Methodists divided in 1844.  

A old lady neighbor of Mrs. Cravens, when she heard I was from Utah, said that the Mormons when here would steal cows and horses etc. and that caused the trouble.  A Mormon went to one of his Gentile neighbors and told him he had revelation from the Lord that the cow belonged to him.  The neighbor said he had seen the Lord since and He told him the cow to belonged to him.

May 21, 2013:
Talk about a rough neighborhood.

Fat hogs...at least 192...or 200.  Stolen livestock.  Divided Methodists.  A defunk grocery store.  Old lady neighbors.  A deity into horsetrading.  And that is just what you wrote down.

I will say that this county was strangely attractive for being turkeyless.  Or so I thought.  As a matter of fact, it wasn't turkeyless at all!

I stopped by Jamesport, the home of the largest Amish community west of the Mississippi River.  Modern convenience isn't really their strong suit so imagine my surprise that they have what is basically an Amish Walmart.  


Oh, the things I saw!  Things that are particularly useful to their community.

Let me list some here with illustrative images in no particular order:


Mossy Oak Clothing 

Computer Printer Ink Cartridges

Chocolate Candy Rocks

iPhone Cases

A truckload (catch the irony...truckload) of frozen turkeys, 
which would have been useful 
at the Subway for my turkey sandwich

Film for a camera...but no cameras (btw, the Amish feel like
photographs steal their soul so they never allow people to take their picture)

I can't forget to mention the braless woman.  

There is one more thing about the Amish.  

The Amish only speak Reformed German, however, they have learned helpful phrases like "Credit or cash?" or "Have you tried our famous Caramel Apple Butter?"

Fortunately for the rest of us, they have mastered the most important phrase of all:  

"Next time, wear a bra."

Love,
Valsy

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

One Does Not Simply Drive Into Far West

Image
Dear Uncle George, May 16, 1907 Sent my instruments to Far West.  Just southwest and across the street from the temple block is the Reorganized Church.  I had dinner with Eldmer Entrakin while negatives were washing.  Would not make a charge.  Questioned John David Whitmer who never paid much attention to his father's testimony of the Book of Mormon until he was dead.  Then he thought more about it in one year than he had the the 20 years before. May 16, 2013 It is stupid humid today. One does not simply drive to Mordor ...I mean Far West.  There are a whole lot of roads with random letters involved like "D" and "HH."  Some numbers thrown like 83, 35, 116, and the 459 curve to spice things up. When you are in a Mini, the winding roads are actually quite soothing.  Unfortunately, it takes forever to figure out which road is which because they all look alike. The speed that you build up, driving way faster than recommended is for naught ...
Read more

Hey Sherpa Pem, Can You Find My Pants?

Image
Dear Uncle  George, May 15, 1907: Crooked River.  It is true to name.  Mr. Thompson carrying the instrument part of the time.  Mr. Ray McCollough is name of the boy, I talked to him about smoking.  Only seventeen years old and has an old pipe between his lips often. Sent my instruments to Far West, with Mr. Ruben Sloan.  Passed some places with fat stock, sheep that had just been shorn, hogs, goats. Val May 15, 2013: Got to the Crooked River in Ray County.  Forgot my camera. Had to go home, 75 miles out of my way, to get it.  Feel cranky.  May or may not have cussed. If I had a Sherpa like you did, I bet he would have remembered to bring my camera to the PHOTO shoot. I have met a Sherpa in real life.  His name is Pem.  He is so amazing that Glamour Magazine would say he is "bad ass." He has climbed Mt. Everest.  Twice.  Without oxygen. The second time he did it, his fiance and a friend climbed with him....
Read more

The Opposite of What I Deserve

Image
Dear Uncle George, This weekend, I went to Eureka Springs, Arkansas.  The short of it is that The Boy was supposed to do a check-out dive for scuba diving certification, but he had an ear problem.  Not usually a big deal, I mean he has two.  But in scuba diving, it is essentially the ONLY part that you really need in perfect, working order. So he was out. The room was paid for (hello, non-refundable), and well, you know me, I am always up for field trip. Some highlights from the road include I almost got hit three times, the "Come and Take It" gun flag in someone's yard, having a hot dog at the Carthage, Missouri gas station--home of the Precious Moments Chapel and some girl dressed in volleyball shorts and a yellow, glittery "I am going clubbing at the Palladium in San Francisco" top, Kodiak street in Neosha, I think I saw a dead wild African dog on the side of the road, billboard that said "Are you a Producer or a Parasite?",  learning the re...
Read more